I feel that I need to ground myself a little. I’ve been burning so hot and bright that flying too near the sun is now a good possibility, and must stop before I burn out. Now I’m not talking about doing too much drugs or anything – it’s mostly my thoughs/feelings that have run away…I am no longer in control of where they are taking me. I belvieve that it’s all part and parcel of the same problem – however it’s only become apparent to me recently. My thoughts often shadow my feelings – this has always helped me not to anger quickly, or to forgive even quicker. But I find myself wanting to feel more and more – and finding myself feeling more and more.
At the same time it feels like I’m losing control over myself.
I don’t know which is better – more feelings and less control, or more control and less feelings. I know I know – eveyone is going to say “you must find a balance, son”.
But is there anything there worth exploring, and is balance even possible in this case?
I’m saying things that I feel and later analyze them and they don’t make any logical sense – but they still feel right. How am I going to resolve this internal conflict without detroying my”self”?
I think perhaps I will need to meditate on this. I’ve found that that is the one space that I can merge thoughts and feelings – only after you clear both out though. Man, I haven’t meditated in over a year. Perhaps this is what I need.
Meet the Author
“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals…” - Henry David Thoreau
Cian is a serial entrepreneur and new author . He started is his first company in 2001, at the age of 21, and has since built another 5, with models that are as diverse as algorithmic trading, real estate, oil technology, and indoor farming technology.Learn more
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